I have been doing a few 1-2 day cross-cultural training programs for incoming managers and (accompanying spouses) to Italy....and I have run into a reverse cross-cultural moment.
It has to do with lunch -- how Italian.
I spent a day with a couple in Milan, starting VERY promptly at 8:30am and finishing at 5:00pm. Part of the day was dedicated to general cultural awareness, culture shock, managing expectations etc, and another part on cultural differences in the workplace with the working spouse alone. The morning clicked along with a short coffee break.
Then 12:30 rolled around and they accompanied me downstairs to release me, saying, " let's meet back at 1:20" and off they went.
I was meant to eat lunch, ALONE.
Their assumption was that this was my break and that being with them was work, because what else could we possibly talk about over lunch, but work. This was a very short-term professional (work only) relationship and we all needed a break. Maybe I needed to sit over my computer and send email messages while dropping pizzette crumbs on the keyboard.
But I have been in Italy way tooooo long, and I felt as though I had been punched in my empty stomach. I instead had assumed that we would grab a bite together -- actually it had crossed my mind that we might even have a plate of something hot at their home....I thought we might chat about anything and everything BUT the work we had been doing all morning -- about the best places to ski, what I thought of Berlusconi, if they should think about buying a FIAT, what the winters are like in Milan -- ANYTHING. We could have had a nice break together. You know....the "pranzo" thing.
I felt like I must be a terrible person and that they hated me.
Ah yes, cultural differences. They thought they were being very respectful by allowing me time to myself, a work-break. I read it as disrespectful at being thrown out on the streets to fend for myself at a time like lunch!
It is the old personal / professional divide that Americans must work through when they hop over the pond and into Italy (France and Spain too).
While I didn't embarrass them by mentioning the "incident" (although I should have in retrospect..). I did emphasize that M. should never say "no" to a coffee or to lunch with his Italian colleagues and that these small rituals were key to the essential relationship building process that would make or break his successful assignment.
Now I have another 2 day training coming up and the global training company has put in my notes something about "lunch on my own"! The client is British though, so there is hope I will have company for my meal.
a presto,
E
Showing posts with label cross-cultural tools. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cross-cultural tools. Show all posts
January 30, 2010
December 15, 2009
Expat persona
Today I would like to share a great blog post that talks about how we take on an "expat persona" while living abroad -- even using a new name that better fits our "other" self. My expat persona name is Elizabeth, which is actually my first name, but not the name I had ever been called by friends and family back home.
Comments to the blog post below include:
"I find that “Ana” is really a facet of my very self–she’s always been there, but it took moving to the Czech Republic to find this “Ana” part of myself."
"I feel like I’ve become more of myself and discovered new depths to my character."
"I was given local names which didn’t stick, but recognize your concept of a persona custom-made for (and by) a particular culture or setting. Personality fracture is a definite issue when your context changes…such a strange, internal tension when important and vibrant parts of yourself are put into cold storage — but, as you showed, also a chance to let a new piece of yourself come forward."
"I like the idea that when you move to a new country and change your language, that your name changes too. It’s pronounced differently, shortened. Your new friends shape it to suit their language. There are people that complain when their name is pronounced differently. I like it when that happens. I have the feeling of reproducing myself. I like being many people.”
"….odd how a name change for local pronunciation convenience can actually take on meaning for us."
Can any of you relate to the comments above?
Click HERE for the link.
a domani,
E (e leez a bet)
Comments to the blog post below include:
"I find that “Ana” is really a facet of my very self–she’s always been there, but it took moving to the Czech Republic to find this “Ana” part of myself."
"I feel like I’ve become more of myself and discovered new depths to my character."
"I was given local names which didn’t stick, but recognize your concept of a persona custom-made for (and by) a particular culture or setting. Personality fracture is a definite issue when your context changes…such a strange, internal tension when important and vibrant parts of yourself are put into cold storage — but, as you showed, also a chance to let a new piece of yourself come forward."
"I like the idea that when you move to a new country and change your language, that your name changes too. It’s pronounced differently, shortened. Your new friends shape it to suit their language. There are people that complain when their name is pronounced differently. I like it when that happens. I have the feeling of reproducing myself. I like being many people.”
"….odd how a name change for local pronunciation convenience can actually take on meaning for us."
Can any of you relate to the comments above?
Click HERE for the link.
a domani,
E (e leez a bet)
November 26, 2009
Going home
Repatriation is today's topic. please find below a very honest, open and insigntful online discussion about repatriation after an assignment abroad. Pass this post along to your HR office!
Before starting, I would like to put out an invitation: I am gathering stories from expats on how the experience of living and working abroad has served to jumpstart significant personal and professional progress. Please contact me if you would be willing to share your thoughts (in a confidential way) for this project. The comments below may help you reflect.
The opening question for this discussion was: END OF EXPATRIATION: WHAT ABOUT YOUR "REACLIMATATION". Before leaving, companies often provide relocation service and sometimes cultural training to reduce the adaptation period but at the end of expatriation there is a new adaptation period. Does your company organise something and how do you manage your "reacclimatation ?
and here are a few responses (without names for privacy)
Happy Thanksgiving!
a domani,
E
P.S. I added Robin Pascoe's book to my list to your right.
Before starting, I would like to put out an invitation: I am gathering stories from expats on how the experience of living and working abroad has served to jumpstart significant personal and professional progress. Please contact me if you would be willing to share your thoughts (in a confidential way) for this project. The comments below may help you reflect.
The opening question for this discussion was: END OF EXPATRIATION: WHAT ABOUT YOUR "REACLIMATATION". Before leaving, companies often provide relocation service and sometimes cultural training to reduce the adaptation period but at the end of expatriation there is a new adaptation period. Does your company organise something and how do you manage your "reacclimatation ?
and here are a few responses (without names for privacy)
This is normally forgotten by companies. I suppose that it is supposed that you go back to your usual self: family, friends, sights, language and, this "reaclimatation" is an easy thing, and sometimes, it is not so.
Also, bear in mind, that many expatriations follow to a new expatriation so, this problem doesn't arise until a long time since you first left your home country. And when this happens, your past environment has completely disappeared.
When you are an expat and come home for a few weeks, every body wants to see you and you become really busy, with hardly time for yourself. When you are finally back, suddenly, all those feel that they don't need to rush to see you and you may find your self pretty much alone during some time, this can be hard, specially for a non working spouse, who normally is after returning from a long expatriation. Companies feel that they have done enough covering the cost of the move.
I would look at this problem from the other perspective. Once you leave the "home country" for an expat job, you are begining the new life somewhere else. As the time goes by, the "new country" its opportunities and problems, are closer than the ones of "home country". You are building new relationships, and parallely sort of a distance to all of "home country" issues. Looking from abroad and judging as an independent judge, rather than participant makes you confused in understanding where you belong. The longer the contract is the harder it is to come back. Consequently what happens is that many expats can't find their place in their "home country" and look for another jobs abroad.
HR teams do spend a lot of time and money to help a family move and adjust abroad. I actually don't know anyone who has received help during repatriation.
When people leave their home country and move to a new environment (new culture, new food, etc.) they end up finding out what they really are made of, and that will change them.
Like it or not -- in your home country you are defined by many things that have very little to do with who you are inside – what school you attend, what clothes you wear, what you do for a living, what music you listen to… When you move to a new country with new language and culture and ways of doing business – you have to make a decision. Do you walk into a McDonalds because you recognize the food or do you walk into a local restaurant where you don’t know the food and can’t speak the language?
Most expatriates choose the latter. And when that happens you start to change. You challenge yourself more and more.
You also seek support from people locally vs. from back home. Speaking for me -- I have found that the people back home couldn't empathize with what I was experiencing and didn’t understand that I was changing as a person. The local expatriates did. The local international school did and provided a lot of support too.
When my family moved back home we were different people. My husband and I had 3 children (plus dog and cat) – and we all were lost. There was a huge gap between who we are now and how our friends and family remembered us. And yes, Jose is right! Nobody rushed to see us!
We needed a welcome home party. We needed support to help all of us adjust. During the time we were away the world changed. Social media, mobile phones, TV shows, junk food, schools….even the church. We needed help reconnecting to our home country and starting over again. We had changed, our home country had changed.
It took a long time for our family to adjust. I have found that we now seek out new friends who are 'world focused' and more open minded. Many of our expatriate friends have moved back to their home countries too, and every single one of them have made major changes in their lives at home. New homes, redesigned homes, different schools for their kids, and many wanted a new job! Yes, the company that sent them abroad no longer kept their attention.
In my world, international consulting, very little is done to even help us adapt to the country we are going to, let alone help us adapt when we return. We each find our own coping mechanisms but one of the ways that has always helped me recover from a long posting abroad is to decompress in a neutral location before coming home. That way the denouement of returning home is not as strong and you have been able to process a lot of the emotion of leaving the country you worked in before going back to your old life. But the more international work you do, the more your old life needs to adjust to the new and improved you and vice versa. You must have the courage to make the changes you need to make.
I have just finished reading Robin Pascoe's book Homeward Bound and can highly recommend it for anyone repatriating. I have done so 3 times and it doesn't get easier through practice. The book made me realize that I'm not alone and also that it's not unusual for the readjustment to take years, not months as most would expect. Robin makes the point that living overseas changes you forever and most probably I will always feel something of an outsider. Not a pleasant thought, but perhaps a fair price to pay for all the wonderful experiences I've had living overseas.
Happy Thanksgiving!
a domani,
E
P.S. I added Robin Pascoe's book to my list to your right.
October 8, 2009
Conditionally absolute
Berlusconi's lawyer is in the news for an interesting argument he slipped into his client's defense: "The law is equal for all, but not always its application."
The idea of rules and their particular application regularly comes up in cross-cultural communications. On one end of the spectrum lies "universalism" or the zero-tolerance concept of rules ( click here for a recent Time magazine article) in which there are certain absolutes that apply across the board, regardless of circumstances or the particular situation. What is right is always right and you should try to apply the same rules to everyone in like situations. To be fair is to treat everyone alike and not make exceptions for members of your "ingroup".
While life isn't necessarily fair, you can make it more fair by treating everyone the same.
Then there is the other end of the spectrum, "particularism", in which how you behave in a given situation depends on the circumstances, there are no absolutes. What is right in one situation may not be right in another. You treat your ingroup members the best you can and you let the rest of the world take care of itself (their ingroups will take care of them).
To be fair is to treat everyone as unique. No one expects life to be fair.
To each his own cultural orientation.
a domani,
E
PS. I used the descriptions of universalism and particularism from the book:Figuring Foreigners Out: A Practical Guide by Craig Storti.
The idea of rules and their particular application regularly comes up in cross-cultural communications. On one end of the spectrum lies "universalism" or the zero-tolerance concept of rules ( click here for a recent Time magazine article) in which there are certain absolutes that apply across the board, regardless of circumstances or the particular situation. What is right is always right and you should try to apply the same rules to everyone in like situations. To be fair is to treat everyone alike and not make exceptions for members of your "ingroup".
While life isn't necessarily fair, you can make it more fair by treating everyone the same.
Then there is the other end of the spectrum, "particularism", in which how you behave in a given situation depends on the circumstances, there are no absolutes. What is right in one situation may not be right in another. You treat your ingroup members the best you can and you let the rest of the world take care of itself (their ingroups will take care of them).
To be fair is to treat everyone as unique. No one expects life to be fair.
To each his own cultural orientation.
a domani,
E
PS. I used the descriptions of universalism and particularism from the book:Figuring Foreigners Out: A Practical Guide by Craig Storti.
January 16, 2009
Home sweet home
I've just received an email from the SIETAR organization (Society of Intercultural Education, Training and Research) with downloads and lots of photos from the October conference in Granada (see to your right for my workshop presentation).
I downloaded and read one of the workshops I hadn't managed to attend, held by a British colleague up in Bologna who works in intercultural training. It was on "Culture and Change". Since he works with companies in Italy, there were some interesting comparative stats on Italian culture and change.
For today, I will share just a few revelations.
Along a spectrum for "uncertainty avoidance" that runs from low (1) to high (10), Italy was ranked at 7.5, while the UK at 3.5 and Sweden 2.9.
This means that Italians tend to feel more threatened by uncertain and ambiguous situations and try to avoid them than the Brits and the Swedes. We have seen this many times in my blog.
Along another spectrum for "power distance" Italy was ranked at 5.0, while the UK stood at 3.5 and Sweden at 3.1. This means that the less powerful members of Italian society better accept that power is distributed unequally compared to the UK and Sweden (for example). We have seen this too.
Another slide showed that Italian managers are much less willing to accept postings abroad than their counterparts in other countries: Italy, 42%, Germany 55.8%, UK 59%, USA 60.3% and Sweden 72.7%
As for the Swedes, I would guess that they are more than happy to leave their county if the proposition is made in January. As for the Italians, that daily plate of pasta is hard to give up.
a domani,
E
I downloaded and read one of the workshops I hadn't managed to attend, held by a British colleague up in Bologna who works in intercultural training. It was on "Culture and Change". Since he works with companies in Italy, there were some interesting comparative stats on Italian culture and change.
For today, I will share just a few revelations.
Along a spectrum for "uncertainty avoidance" that runs from low (1) to high (10), Italy was ranked at 7.5, while the UK at 3.5 and Sweden 2.9.
This means that Italians tend to feel more threatened by uncertain and ambiguous situations and try to avoid them than the Brits and the Swedes. We have seen this many times in my blog.
Along another spectrum for "power distance" Italy was ranked at 5.0, while the UK stood at 3.5 and Sweden at 3.1. This means that the less powerful members of Italian society better accept that power is distributed unequally compared to the UK and Sweden (for example). We have seen this too.
Another slide showed that Italian managers are much less willing to accept postings abroad than their counterparts in other countries: Italy, 42%, Germany 55.8%, UK 59%, USA 60.3% and Sweden 72.7%
As for the Swedes, I would guess that they are more than happy to leave their county if the proposition is made in January. As for the Italians, that daily plate of pasta is hard to give up.
a domani,
E
September 25, 2008
universal governance
I just saw a special on CNN regarding YouTube in connection with the videos posted by the young Finnish man who then entered into his school and shot 8 classmates. YouTube is a global phenomenon interacting with people around the world with virtually no filters or controls from above. A representative from YouTube explained that given its global nature, no one legal system would be in a position to set controls, so whatever oversight exists comes from the viewers who are invited to contact YouTube in the case they view a video that is not appropriate, one that disturbs or insults. The video in question is then removed by YouTube management. In an extreme case, like the video uploaded by the young Finnish man, contacting the police would also be advised.
This system of governance requires proactive action on the part of individual viewers and, as we have seen, this involves a "doing" vs "being" characteristic that has cultural roots. There are cultures that encourage the individual to stand out and take individual action, with the belief that the individual can and should make a difference. Other cultures, less oriented toward the individual, encourage waiting, defering to authorities and leaving the question to fate.
How do these cultural differences influence the process of filtering out inappropriate YouTube videos? Can we assume that the system, it its global extension, will properly govern itself?
a domani,
E
This system of governance requires proactive action on the part of individual viewers and, as we have seen, this involves a "doing" vs "being" characteristic that has cultural roots. There are cultures that encourage the individual to stand out and take individual action, with the belief that the individual can and should make a difference. Other cultures, less oriented toward the individual, encourage waiting, defering to authorities and leaving the question to fate.
How do these cultural differences influence the process of filtering out inappropriate YouTube videos? Can we assume that the system, it its global extension, will properly govern itself?
a domani,
E
July 15, 2008
More on privacy
If you have a look on my links to your right, you will find "wandering italy" -- a website with blog by James Martin. I found him last year as I was googling "starbucks italy". He also had a passion at the time for the question, "Will it or will it not land in Italy". Since then, we have exchanged links and even occasionally chat over email.
The other day he wrote a post on "privacy" Italian style, inspired by my earlier one. It is a great piece with lots of insights into the privacy gap between Americans and Italians, so I am passing it on for you today. Enjoy!
Click Here.
a domani,
E
The other day he wrote a post on "privacy" Italian style, inspired by my earlier one. It is a great piece with lots of insights into the privacy gap between Americans and Italians, so I am passing it on for you today. Enjoy!
Click Here.
a domani,
E
July 11, 2008
Privacy
The Maturità has come and gone and holidays are on for all. This year held one big novità. For the first time ever, the maturità results were not posted at the school entrance for all to see. Instead, in the name of "privacy"*, each student had to go to the school office and make an official grade request to receive a printed form. So much for my recent post (here) on this public display of private information.
Of course all this change caused havoc, lines, angry students and parents all complaining about this ridiculous new layer of paperwork. One student was interviewed for the newspaper as saying, "what privacy, we have spent the last five years together in the same classroom day after day, of course we will all know each other's final grade anyway."
Another example of cultural roots fighting change.
* Interesting aside: the Italians say "privacy" in English as there is no true translation of the concept as we know it in Italian. So the new "privacy laws" are called "le leggi sulla privacy". Now try applying those, when your language doesn't even recognize the essence of the concept! In true Italian style the laws are very, very thorough, so exacting in their detail that NO ONE could EVER hope to actually adhere to them properly! I know of someone who has set up a consulting business to help offices adhere to the ever changing privacy laws.
a domani,
E
Of course all this change caused havoc, lines, angry students and parents all complaining about this ridiculous new layer of paperwork. One student was interviewed for the newspaper as saying, "what privacy, we have spent the last five years together in the same classroom day after day, of course we will all know each other's final grade anyway."
Another example of cultural roots fighting change.
* Interesting aside: the Italians say "privacy" in English as there is no true translation of the concept as we know it in Italian. So the new "privacy laws" are called "le leggi sulla privacy". Now try applying those, when your language doesn't even recognize the essence of the concept! In true Italian style the laws are very, very thorough, so exacting in their detail that NO ONE could EVER hope to actually adhere to them properly! I know of someone who has set up a consulting business to help offices adhere to the ever changing privacy laws.
a domani,
E
May 11, 2008
East meets West
More on sports today.
As an anonymous reader commented yesterday, there are indeed quite a few non-Italians names on the Trentino Volley team -- six Italians and six non-Italians to be exact. This is pretty standard for teams in the professional Italian championship Volleyball league which is one of the top leagues to play for in the world. What is unusual is the Eastern European block -- three Bulgarians, two Poles and one Serbian. Add in the Bulgarian coach and an Italian national that comes from Slovenia and the team was heavily weighted to the East. In fact, the playoff finals were transmitted and followed by a large public in Bulgaria!
From a cross-cultural perspective what is interesting is how these two distinct groups managed to form a true team that went on to win the Italian title. At the beginning of the year, there were a few language issues, but the newly arrived coach and his 23 year old Bulgarian star learned Italian at an amazing speed and actually used the language gap to the team's advantage. The coach would give instructions to one of the Bulgarians, who would translate to the rest of the team in a huddle so that the opponent across the net would not hear.
Perhaps the secret to overcoming cultural differences is setting a clear goal that everyone supports 100% -- in Trentino Volley's case it was making the Champions League. Throw in a few strong leaders with force of character and job is done.
There is a lesson in this.
a domani,
E
As an anonymous reader commented yesterday, there are indeed quite a few non-Italians names on the Trentino Volley team -- six Italians and six non-Italians to be exact. This is pretty standard for teams in the professional Italian championship Volleyball league which is one of the top leagues to play for in the world. What is unusual is the Eastern European block -- three Bulgarians, two Poles and one Serbian. Add in the Bulgarian coach and an Italian national that comes from Slovenia and the team was heavily weighted to the East. In fact, the playoff finals were transmitted and followed by a large public in Bulgaria!
From a cross-cultural perspective what is interesting is how these two distinct groups managed to form a true team that went on to win the Italian title. At the beginning of the year, there were a few language issues, but the newly arrived coach and his 23 year old Bulgarian star learned Italian at an amazing speed and actually used the language gap to the team's advantage. The coach would give instructions to one of the Bulgarians, who would translate to the rest of the team in a huddle so that the opponent across the net would not hear.
Perhaps the secret to overcoming cultural differences is setting a clear goal that everyone supports 100% -- in Trentino Volley's case it was making the Champions League. Throw in a few strong leaders with force of character and job is done.
There is a lesson in this.
a domani,
E
January 31, 2008
Cultural Quotient
In a recent post on this blog (roam2rome), "farfallina" introduced a new kind of "Q" that has recently entered the scene following in the footsteps of IQ and EQ, the CQ (Cultural Quotient). The concept was first presented three years ago in the Harvard Business Review as the “essential factor of our times” without which, “NO one is going to be even remotely successful in this Millennium”. The business community is getting all excited about it and is using the term more and more.
The post continued, "I would love to see Elizabeth tackle this subject in my favorite Rome blog “Cross Cultural Moments”. So, I take up the challenge.
To start, what is it? Wikipedia says,"Cultural Intelligence, Cultural Quotient or CQ, is a theory within management and organisational psychology, positing that understanding the impact of an individual's cultural background on their behaviour is essential for effective business, and measuring an individual's ability to engage successfully in any environment or social setting. First described by Christopher Earley and Elaine Mosakowski in the October 2004 issue of Harvard Business Review and gaining acceptance throughout the business community, CQ teaches strategies to improve cultural perception in order to distinguish behaviours driven by culture from those specific to an individual, suggesting that allowing knowledge and appreciation of the difference to guide responses results in better business practice.
Golly gosh, someone has finally gotten it! Although with fancier words, it is what I have been talking about in my blog for over a year now (and in training workshops and presentations before that). For me, CQ is about understanding how your own culture background effects the success of your intercultural dealings and allowing an appreciating of the differences to guide your interactions.
I hope that the CQ concept will move the international business community away from preaching "adapting behaviors" as the solution to cross-cultural differences in doing business. Mocking behaviors only makes you look like a monkey unless there is a true and genuine understanding and respect behind them.
Roam2rome's post is quite timely. Just yesterday on the train to Trento, I threw out the text I had been finalizing for a website and started again from scratch. I am moving my emphasis from cross-cultural training and consulting to concentrate on intercultural and expat coaching. After my first month of teleclasses and readings, I am convinced that coaching is a much more effective way to support my vision of, "A world in which people have a deep understanding of, and respect for, the power of culture – they are humbled by, and marvel at, the wonder of cross-cultural differences." Cross-cultural training gives you tools, information and proper behaviors to follow, but coaching can help you achieve a true shift in perspective that is at the base of suspending judgement and successfully crossing cultures.
Whew! enough for today.
a domani (from Trento),
E
The post continued, "I would love to see Elizabeth tackle this subject in my favorite Rome blog “Cross Cultural Moments”. So, I take up the challenge.
To start, what is it? Wikipedia says,"Cultural Intelligence, Cultural Quotient or CQ, is a theory within management and organisational psychology, positing that understanding the impact of an individual's cultural background on their behaviour is essential for effective business, and measuring an individual's ability to engage successfully in any environment or social setting. First described by Christopher Earley and Elaine Mosakowski in the October 2004 issue of Harvard Business Review and gaining acceptance throughout the business community, CQ teaches strategies to improve cultural perception in order to distinguish behaviours driven by culture from those specific to an individual, suggesting that allowing knowledge and appreciation of the difference to guide responses results in better business practice.
Golly gosh, someone has finally gotten it! Although with fancier words, it is what I have been talking about in my blog for over a year now (and in training workshops and presentations before that). For me, CQ is about understanding how your own culture background effects the success of your intercultural dealings and allowing an appreciating of the differences to guide your interactions.
I hope that the CQ concept will move the international business community away from preaching "adapting behaviors" as the solution to cross-cultural differences in doing business. Mocking behaviors only makes you look like a monkey unless there is a true and genuine understanding and respect behind them.
Roam2rome's post is quite timely. Just yesterday on the train to Trento, I threw out the text I had been finalizing for a website and started again from scratch. I am moving my emphasis from cross-cultural training and consulting to concentrate on intercultural and expat coaching. After my first month of teleclasses and readings, I am convinced that coaching is a much more effective way to support my vision of, "A world in which people have a deep understanding of, and respect for, the power of culture – they are humbled by, and marvel at, the wonder of cross-cultural differences." Cross-cultural training gives you tools, information and proper behaviors to follow, but coaching can help you achieve a true shift in perspective that is at the base of suspending judgement and successfully crossing cultures.
Whew! enough for today.
a domani (from Trento),
E
January 22, 2008
Universal morals
Are you ready to stretch your mind today?
My "google-alert" for all things cross-cultural led me to this blog by Fawad, a techie based in California whose profile quote reads: "I have always imagined Paradise to be a kind of library" - Jorge Luis Borges
I have copied some of the post for you and strongly encourage anyone interested in cross-cultural differences to click through to the NY Times Magazine article below.
From the post:
"Steven Pinker, the hard to label Harvard Evolutionary Psycholgist is amongst one of the best examples of current scientists who can write well for a broader audience. This post was precipitated after reading his excellent essay titled "The Moral Instinct" in the January 13th, 2008 issue of The New York Times Sunday Magazine. It is hard to summarize the breadth of the essay's argument but in it Pinker explains the existing evidence for the biological (evolutionary) underpinnings of our morality. He examines many interesting examples about the universality of morals and tries to square them with the clearly observed differences across cultures. The essay is somewhat long but I couldn't recommend it any more strongly and urge people to read it. There are few popular pieces of writing that engage this deeply in reflecting on the sources of our deeply held moral beliefs.
Excerpts:
When anthropologists like Richard Shweder and Alan Fiske survey moral concerns across the globe, they find that a few themes keep popping up from amid the diversity. People everywhere, at least in some circumstances and with certain other folks in mind, think it’s bad to harm others and good to help them. They have a sense of fairness: that one should reciprocate favors, reward benefactors and punish cheaters. They value loyalty to a group, sharing and solidarity among its members and conformity to its norms. They believe that it is right to defer to legitimate authorities and to respect people with high status. And they exalt purity, cleanliness and sanctity while loathing defilement, contamination and carnality.
The exact number of themes depends on whether you’re a lumper or a splitter, but Haidt counts five — harm, fairness, community (or group loyalty), authority and purity — and suggests that they are the primary colors of our moral sense. Not only do they keep reappearing in cross-cultural surveys, but each one tugs on the moral intuitions of people in our own culture.
---------
All this brings us to a theory of how the moral sense can be universal and variable at the same time. The five moral spheres are universal, a legacy of evolution. But how they are ranked in importance, and which is brought in to moralize which area of social life — sex, government, commerce, religion, diet and so on — depends on the culture. Many of the flabbergasting practices in faraway places become more intelligible when you recognize that the same moralizing impulse that Western elites channel toward violations of harm and fairness (our moral obsessions) is channeled elsewhere to violations in the other spheres. Think of the Japanese fear of nonconformity (community), the holy ablutions and dietary restrictions of Hindus and Orthodox Jews (purity), the outrage at insulting the Prophet among Muslims (authority). In the West, we believe that in business and government, fairness should trump community and try to root out nepotism and cronyism. In other parts of the world this is incomprehensible — what heartless creep would favor a perfect stranger over his own brother? "
Any thoughts?
I need a day to ponder...
a domani,
E
My "google-alert" for all things cross-cultural led me to this blog by Fawad, a techie based in California whose profile quote reads: "I have always imagined Paradise to be a kind of library" - Jorge Luis Borges
I have copied some of the post for you and strongly encourage anyone interested in cross-cultural differences to click through to the NY Times Magazine article below.
From the post:
"Steven Pinker, the hard to label Harvard Evolutionary Psycholgist is amongst one of the best examples of current scientists who can write well for a broader audience. This post was precipitated after reading his excellent essay titled "The Moral Instinct" in the January 13th, 2008 issue of The New York Times Sunday Magazine. It is hard to summarize the breadth of the essay's argument but in it Pinker explains the existing evidence for the biological (evolutionary) underpinnings of our morality. He examines many interesting examples about the universality of morals and tries to square them with the clearly observed differences across cultures. The essay is somewhat long but I couldn't recommend it any more strongly and urge people to read it. There are few popular pieces of writing that engage this deeply in reflecting on the sources of our deeply held moral beliefs.
Excerpts:
When anthropologists like Richard Shweder and Alan Fiske survey moral concerns across the globe, they find that a few themes keep popping up from amid the diversity. People everywhere, at least in some circumstances and with certain other folks in mind, think it’s bad to harm others and good to help them. They have a sense of fairness: that one should reciprocate favors, reward benefactors and punish cheaters. They value loyalty to a group, sharing and solidarity among its members and conformity to its norms. They believe that it is right to defer to legitimate authorities and to respect people with high status. And they exalt purity, cleanliness and sanctity while loathing defilement, contamination and carnality.
The exact number of themes depends on whether you’re a lumper or a splitter, but Haidt counts five — harm, fairness, community (or group loyalty), authority and purity — and suggests that they are the primary colors of our moral sense. Not only do they keep reappearing in cross-cultural surveys, but each one tugs on the moral intuitions of people in our own culture.
---------
All this brings us to a theory of how the moral sense can be universal and variable at the same time. The five moral spheres are universal, a legacy of evolution. But how they are ranked in importance, and which is brought in to moralize which area of social life — sex, government, commerce, religion, diet and so on — depends on the culture. Many of the flabbergasting practices in faraway places become more intelligible when you recognize that the same moralizing impulse that Western elites channel toward violations of harm and fairness (our moral obsessions) is channeled elsewhere to violations in the other spheres. Think of the Japanese fear of nonconformity (community), the holy ablutions and dietary restrictions of Hindus and Orthodox Jews (purity), the outrage at insulting the Prophet among Muslims (authority). In the West, we believe that in business and government, fairness should trump community and try to root out nepotism and cronyism. In other parts of the world this is incomprehensible — what heartless creep would favor a perfect stranger over his own brother? "
Any thoughts?
I need a day to ponder...
a domani,
E
November 25, 2007
Noi and the salon
This week I visited the source.
If you were an English-speaking woman new to a foreign city, where would you go to let down your hair and rant in peace? Your English-speaking hairdresser, of course, and in Rome this means Noi Salon in Piazza del Popolo run by Rick and Massimo.
Originally from California, Rick Breco acknowledged that he has, indeed, heard it all, so I settled back and got the scoop.
The number one rant is food -- with comfort food that you can't easily find here, such as cheddar cheese, at the top of the list. Then comes Italian food rules and the timing of meals -- restaurants have the nasty habit of actually closing and re-opening during the day, as do shops.
A different idea of customer service comes next. As Rick put it, "This makes them insane," with the lack of personal space coming up close behind. What is defined as "rudeness" usually has to do with people not looking and smiling back when you cross their path on the sidewalk, and slow reaction time when you enter a shop.
What his clients love is "the dream" that has become Italy's trademark, branded by the romantic cypress-lined road in Tuscany (alla "Under the Tuscan Sun"). He has found the perfect backdrop closer by, near Orvieto, where he occasionally takes special guests just so that they can fulfill their fantasy and go home happy.
Many are fearful of communicating, integrating and even shopping. Italian ways are complicated and hard to fathom, so that sometimes it is easier to simply shut down and stick to the English-speaking community. For Americans with Italian husbands (that they met and married while in the US) there is the MIL factor and the fear of not only having your personal space encroached upon, but also your intimate values, beliefs and ways of thinking and behaving.
On the other side of the chair, Rick's strongest cross-cultural moments center around the concept of time. It drives him crazy that many Italian clients insist on just dropping in and expecting service without an appointment He sees this practice as a lack of respect. In fact, about 70% of their business is with the foreign English-speaking community.
So, "What is the secret of doing business in Italy?" I asked. "Forming personal relationships, the Italian way," he answered with certainty, "and finding your niche." On the personal side, he finds that having a sense of humor makes all the difference, "Feeling comfortable to tease and make a joke as a way to approach Italians, who then easily accept you for being yourself."
Ah yes, being particolare, the Italian way.
Thanks Rick!
a domani,
E
Noi Salon, Piazza del Popolo, 3
If you were an English-speaking woman new to a foreign city, where would you go to let down your hair and rant in peace? Your English-speaking hairdresser, of course, and in Rome this means Noi Salon in Piazza del Popolo run by Rick and Massimo.
Originally from California, Rick Breco acknowledged that he has, indeed, heard it all, so I settled back and got the scoop. The number one rant is food -- with comfort food that you can't easily find here, such as cheddar cheese, at the top of the list. Then comes Italian food rules and the timing of meals -- restaurants have the nasty habit of actually closing and re-opening during the day, as do shops.
A different idea of customer service comes next. As Rick put it, "This makes them insane," with the lack of personal space coming up close behind. What is defined as "rudeness" usually has to do with people not looking and smiling back when you cross their path on the sidewalk, and slow reaction time when you enter a shop.
What his clients love is "the dream" that has become Italy's trademark, branded by the romantic cypress-lined road in Tuscany (alla "Under the Tuscan Sun"). He has found the perfect backdrop closer by, near Orvieto, where he occasionally takes special guests just so that they can fulfill their fantasy and go home happy.
Many are fearful of communicating, integrating and even shopping. Italian ways are complicated and hard to fathom, so that sometimes it is easier to simply shut down and stick to the English-speaking community. For Americans with Italian husbands (that they met and married while in the US) there is the MIL factor and the fear of not only having your personal space encroached upon, but also your intimate values, beliefs and ways of thinking and behaving.
On the other side of the chair, Rick's strongest cross-cultural moments center around the concept of time. It drives him crazy that many Italian clients insist on just dropping in and expecting service without an appointment He sees this practice as a lack of respect. In fact, about 70% of their business is with the foreign English-speaking community.
So, "What is the secret of doing business in Italy?" I asked. "Forming personal relationships, the Italian way," he answered with certainty, "and finding your niche." On the personal side, he finds that having a sense of humor makes all the difference, "Feeling comfortable to tease and make a joke as a way to approach Italians, who then easily accept you for being yourself."
Ah yes, being particolare, the Italian way.
Thanks Rick!
a domani,
E
Noi Salon, Piazza del Popolo, 3
November 20, 2007
Murky waters
I have a couple of deadlines today. For those of you who have been following the conversation over the past few days, I am linking you back to a post I did last February on my friend, the iceberg. The iceberg in this case represents the visibile and invisible parts of culture which I hope helps clarify the discussion we have been having. Come back and leave me a note!
a domani,
E
a domani,
E
November 19, 2007
Doing and Being
After such a wide reaction to yesterday's post, I thought I should take my American Culture bible off the shelf (American Cultural Patterns: A Cross-cultural Perspective -- listed in the side-bar to your right) and share some thoughts on the Being / Doing divide.
Americans are doers. We believe that we can achieve just about anything if we just "do" enough (which generally means setting goals, making a plan and enacting every step of it with perseverance and dedication). "Doing" is very high up there on our scale of values. People are evaluated by what they do and they are valued for their results. We are unfortunately convinced that this a universal value, whereas, in fact, it is a cultural one. Most cultures also value "doing", but, along a spectrum, not quite so highly. They leave more space for the role of "being". We have a hard time intimately accepting that for people of other cultures, we are not (mainly) what we do, but also (even mainly) who we are. "Who we are" is often something we cannot "do" anything about (from caste systems of various types to being European). This is the base of in-group, out-group systems. We Americans join groups (as an individual) and leave them at will. In other cultures, you often simple "are" part of a group that you cannot join nor leave (even if you really want to and work really hard at it with perseverance and dedication).
Emigrants from all over the world flock to the US and quickly become Americans in every sense, even after only one generation. Becoming European is more difficult. All my long-term expat friends agree, even after 20-30 years here, with Italian families, friends, citizenship and language, we will never be considered Italian.
It's a Being / Doing thing. There is nothing you can Do in order to Be. You just Are or Are Not. Americans, with their individualism and belief in the power of personal will, have a hard time acknowledging this cultural difference. One of the hardest of all!
a domani,
E
Americans are doers. We believe that we can achieve just about anything if we just "do" enough (which generally means setting goals, making a plan and enacting every step of it with perseverance and dedication). "Doing" is very high up there on our scale of values. People are evaluated by what they do and they are valued for their results. We are unfortunately convinced that this a universal value, whereas, in fact, it is a cultural one. Most cultures also value "doing", but, along a spectrum, not quite so highly. They leave more space for the role of "being". We have a hard time intimately accepting that for people of other cultures, we are not (mainly) what we do, but also (even mainly) who we are. "Who we are" is often something we cannot "do" anything about (from caste systems of various types to being European). This is the base of in-group, out-group systems. We Americans join groups (as an individual) and leave them at will. In other cultures, you often simple "are" part of a group that you cannot join nor leave (even if you really want to and work really hard at it with perseverance and dedication).
Emigrants from all over the world flock to the US and quickly become Americans in every sense, even after only one generation. Becoming European is more difficult. All my long-term expat friends agree, even after 20-30 years here, with Italian families, friends, citizenship and language, we will never be considered Italian.
It's a Being / Doing thing. There is nothing you can Do in order to Be. You just Are or Are Not. Americans, with their individualism and belief in the power of personal will, have a hard time acknowledging this cultural difference. One of the hardest of all!
a domani,
E
October 29, 2007
Considerations on dignity
I finally got down to it this weekend and worked my way through the last of my mother's care package of newspaper clippings.
Syndicated writer, David Ignatius, wrote an interesting piece that is relevant to our cross-cultural considerations, called, U.S. Neglects Dignity. It opens with a comment made by Lt. Col. David Kilcullen at a recent seminar on counterterrorism,
"We talk about democracy and human rights. Iraqis talk about justice and honor."
David I. calls this, "The beginning of wisdom for America....that not only applies to Iraq but to the range of problems in a world tired of listening to an American megaphone." He continues by saying that it is the issue of dignity, not democracy that vexes billions of people around the world.
The implicit message we send is that, "other countries should be more like us -- replacing their institutions, values and traditions with ours. We mean well, but people feel disrespected." Condoleezza Rice in particular loves to talk about, "the universality of American values."
Continuing on the "dignity agenda", he also quotes from former national security adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski's new book, Second Chance. "In today's restless world, America needs to identify with the quest for universal human dignity, a dignity that embodies both freedom and democracy but also implies respect for cultural diversity."
So today I will send my dear readers off into their expat lives as ambassadors of this respect for cultural diversity -- we are in the trenches and although we don't always like the behaviors and "ways of being" that we see in another culture, we have to take on the task of trying to understand where they come from, their cultural roots, out of respect for their (and our) dignity.
Where to start? Recognize and accept the humbling fact that our values and beliefs are not necessarily universal ones. How is that for a cross-cultural moment!
a domani,
E
Syndicated writer, David Ignatius, wrote an interesting piece that is relevant to our cross-cultural considerations, called, U.S. Neglects Dignity. It opens with a comment made by Lt. Col. David Kilcullen at a recent seminar on counterterrorism,
"We talk about democracy and human rights. Iraqis talk about justice and honor."
David I. calls this, "The beginning of wisdom for America....that not only applies to Iraq but to the range of problems in a world tired of listening to an American megaphone." He continues by saying that it is the issue of dignity, not democracy that vexes billions of people around the world.
The implicit message we send is that, "other countries should be more like us -- replacing their institutions, values and traditions with ours. We mean well, but people feel disrespected." Condoleezza Rice in particular loves to talk about, "the universality of American values."
Continuing on the "dignity agenda", he also quotes from former national security adviser Zbigniew Brzezinski's new book, Second Chance. "In today's restless world, America needs to identify with the quest for universal human dignity, a dignity that embodies both freedom and democracy but also implies respect for cultural diversity."
So today I will send my dear readers off into their expat lives as ambassadors of this respect for cultural diversity -- we are in the trenches and although we don't always like the behaviors and "ways of being" that we see in another culture, we have to take on the task of trying to understand where they come from, their cultural roots, out of respect for their (and our) dignity.
Where to start? Recognize and accept the humbling fact that our values and beliefs are not necessarily universal ones. How is that for a cross-cultural moment!
a domani,
E
June 12, 2007
Sitting on the cultural fence
So many ideas are bubbling up...but I have to choose. Therefore, before it becomes too stale, I need to have a quick look at President Bush's Roman holiday.
We left very early on Friday morning for a beautiful, verdant corner of Italy in the Apennines mountains between Pistoia and Modena and didn't return until late on Sunday, so I have nothing in particular to report first hand on the excitement in Rome. Instead, I would like to have "a think" about a comment made by the current Minister for Foreign Affairs, Massimo D'Alema, in yesterday's newspaper. "America is a great country, and Bush perfectly understands that our government (now of the left) is loyal, although certainly not as much in line with his program as the past government (led by Berlusconi). But today Bush understood that we have two assets missing from Berlusconi's government: we are stronger in Europe and have more credibility in the Arab world."
I won't get into Euro-politics, but rather reflect on the fact that Italy in general and this government in particular does have a certain affinity with the Arab world and often acts as a very viable moderator. Italy is in an enviable position of being culturally between the extremes of the Individualistic/ linear time/ universal rules/ and inner-locus-of-control oriented cultures and those farther down the spectrum that encompass a group/ flexible time/ particular application of rules/ and outer-locus-of-control orientation. Italians sit very nicely and comfortably on the fence between the two, which can, at times (to the Americans), seem like they don't have backbone, don't take strong positions, waffle and waver and act in a rather Machiavellian fashion. Perhaps it is their role -- interpreters and moderators between the two extremes -- that makes Italy a strong and important ally, strong and important enough to necessitate a visit by the American president.
a domani,
E
We left very early on Friday morning for a beautiful, verdant corner of Italy in the Apennines mountains between Pistoia and Modena and didn't return until late on Sunday, so I have nothing in particular to report first hand on the excitement in Rome. Instead, I would like to have "a think" about a comment made by the current Minister for Foreign Affairs, Massimo D'Alema, in yesterday's newspaper. "America is a great country, and Bush perfectly understands that our government (now of the left) is loyal, although certainly not as much in line with his program as the past government (led by Berlusconi). But today Bush understood that we have two assets missing from Berlusconi's government: we are stronger in Europe and have more credibility in the Arab world."
I won't get into Euro-politics, but rather reflect on the fact that Italy in general and this government in particular does have a certain affinity with the Arab world and often acts as a very viable moderator. Italy is in an enviable position of being culturally between the extremes of the Individualistic/ linear time/ universal rules/ and inner-locus-of-control oriented cultures and those farther down the spectrum that encompass a group/ flexible time/ particular application of rules/ and outer-locus-of-control orientation. Italians sit very nicely and comfortably on the fence between the two, which can, at times (to the Americans), seem like they don't have backbone, don't take strong positions, waffle and waver and act in a rather Machiavellian fashion. Perhaps it is their role -- interpreters and moderators between the two extremes -- that makes Italy a strong and important ally, strong and important enough to necessitate a visit by the American president.
a domani,
E
May 31, 2007
Puzzles and mysteries
I often refer to Italian “mysteries” when talking about cultural moments, so when I ran across an article by Malcolm Gladwell in the Jan 8 issue of the New Yorker (recently passed on to me by Shelley) that discussed the distinction between puzzles and mysteries, my ears pricked up.
A puzzle, national-security expert Gregory Treverton sustains, requires additional information in order to be resolved. A mystery instead, requires “judgements and the assessment of uncertainty” often in the face of too much information. The article uses this distinction to analyze the Enron case as a true mystery, the information was all there, in the small print of accounting footnotes and in the mountains of publicly disclosed documents, the skills to decipher and make sense of it were not.
So what does the Enron case have to do with our cultural moments? Not much, except for the mysteries they both carry with them. Cultural moments can be puzzles. Sometimes we are just missing an essential piece of information in order to make sense of a situation and eliminate confusion. Once we have that piece of information, the “moment” slips away because we suddenly, “get it”. We take a deep breath, shake our head and even have a good laugh. But more often our cultural moments are a function of our inability to observe carefully, process and interpret the information around us. Mysteries are “receiver dependent”; they depend on the skills of the listener.
That’s us. We are the listener on the receiving end of the new culture in which we live -- a grand mystery that is up to us to solve.
So, let’s work on our listening skills. The information is out there, an overwhelming amount of it. We need the tools to be better able to listen, process and understand.
A domani,
E
A puzzle, national-security expert Gregory Treverton sustains, requires additional information in order to be resolved. A mystery instead, requires “judgements and the assessment of uncertainty” often in the face of too much information. The article uses this distinction to analyze the Enron case as a true mystery, the information was all there, in the small print of accounting footnotes and in the mountains of publicly disclosed documents, the skills to decipher and make sense of it were not.
So what does the Enron case have to do with our cultural moments? Not much, except for the mysteries they both carry with them. Cultural moments can be puzzles. Sometimes we are just missing an essential piece of information in order to make sense of a situation and eliminate confusion. Once we have that piece of information, the “moment” slips away because we suddenly, “get it”. We take a deep breath, shake our head and even have a good laugh. But more often our cultural moments are a function of our inability to observe carefully, process and interpret the information around us. Mysteries are “receiver dependent”; they depend on the skills of the listener.
That’s us. We are the listener on the receiving end of the new culture in which we live -- a grand mystery that is up to us to solve.
So, let’s work on our listening skills. The information is out there, an overwhelming amount of it. We need the tools to be better able to listen, process and understand.
A domani,
E
May 18, 2007
The doing thing, cont.
I received two great comments on yesterday's post, so I thought I would take today to share some thoughts on the American propensity towards action as a cultural value.
I picked up my "American Cultural Patterns: A cross-cultural approach" by Edward Stewart and Milton Bennett and opened to the chapter on "Forms of Activity". Here are a few salient points.
Americans assume that decision making is localized in individuals, even in groups the individual participates in reaching decisions as a person, as a vote, or as the occupant of a role.
So, if the individual the locus of decision making, he or she is also held responsible for the decision and any resulting action....."who did this?" or "who is responsible?"
If the locus of decision making is not the individual, or at least to a lesser degree, the question of who is responsible does not have the same degree of importance -- as is the case in cultures where there are stong ties to a group or which tend to reach decisions by consensus.
Americans tend to emphasise "problem solving", conceptualizing the world in terms of problems and then looking for obstacles that need to be overcome. In other cultures that are more group oriented, this labeling of obstacles can seem unduly negative and critical of people in their group that should be supported. Instead, "somehow things will work out." The information at hand may not even be organized in terms of "problems" that require "action".
"The idea of problem solving seems to be rooted in the American concept of a rational order in the world that explains events and determines particular occurrences. The rational order is based on the assumption that the world is mechanistic and that things worthy of effort are material. Such a world is saturated with facts, figures and techniques -- the stuff of a reality brimming with problems to be solved."
The book is not an easy read....but is well worth the effort.
Well, I must be off in search of problems that need to be solved.
a domani,
E
I picked up my "American Cultural Patterns: A cross-cultural approach" by Edward Stewart and Milton Bennett and opened to the chapter on "Forms of Activity". Here are a few salient points.
Americans assume that decision making is localized in individuals, even in groups the individual participates in reaching decisions as a person, as a vote, or as the occupant of a role.
So, if the individual the locus of decision making, he or she is also held responsible for the decision and any resulting action....."who did this?" or "who is responsible?"
If the locus of decision making is not the individual, or at least to a lesser degree, the question of who is responsible does not have the same degree of importance -- as is the case in cultures where there are stong ties to a group or which tend to reach decisions by consensus.
Americans tend to emphasise "problem solving", conceptualizing the world in terms of problems and then looking for obstacles that need to be overcome. In other cultures that are more group oriented, this labeling of obstacles can seem unduly negative and critical of people in their group that should be supported. Instead, "somehow things will work out." The information at hand may not even be organized in terms of "problems" that require "action".
"The idea of problem solving seems to be rooted in the American concept of a rational order in the world that explains events and determines particular occurrences. The rational order is based on the assumption that the world is mechanistic and that things worthy of effort are material. Such a world is saturated with facts, figures and techniques -- the stuff of a reality brimming with problems to be solved."
The book is not an easy read....but is well worth the effort.
Well, I must be off in search of problems that need to be solved.
a domani,
E
April 27, 2007
Being particular
I received such interesting comments on this and this entry that I am inspired to get back to the group vs. the individual cultural orientation again to share some other points of view.
Roberto Ruffino, the Director of Intercultura (the Italian counterpart of AFS) for over 30 years and expert in American-Italian cross-cultural differences, once made an observation that has stuck with me. In a presentation on Italian culture for a SIETAR conference, he noted that while many people consider Italians to be individualistic in their behavior, they are actually quite conformist and group oriented. But within this cultural orientation and the control of family and tradition, they are allowed lots of room to cultivate personal expression, to be “particolare” and express individuality as long as it does not interfere with group obligations. Often Italians demonstrate very strong personalities publicly, express distinctive and even outlandish personal beliefs and allow themselves the privilege of highly idiosyncratic behavior while, oddly (to us), accepting obligations in well-defined spheres of their lives (all those "non si fa" and unwritten social rules). What we see as elaborate and extravagant ways (Vittorio Sgarbi on TV talk shows and PM Ida Boccassini’s hairstyles and jewellery come to mind) are not expressions of individualism but individuality – l’essere particolare.
In the early pages of Tobias Jones’ book, The Dark Heart of Italy, he notes, “Rather than excitingly chaotic, Italians began to appear incredibly conservative and obedient… systemized and rigidly hierarchical.”
In the chapter on The Group and the Individual of the book, Riding the Waves of Culture, Trompenaars/Hampden.Turner give this business example. “If the Americans are criticised there is a good chance that Bill will put an elbow into Pete, while asking whose rotten idea it was, while the Italians will walk out as having suffered a group insult, regardless of the fact that it was Giorgio who did it.” The group as a unit of survival above that of the individuals.
My American friend,Pat, a long-term expat in Rome, didn’t leave a comment, but sent me an email with this anecdote: “I have had many experiences with Italian groups and the group mentality, some amusing and others exasperating. One was in a Liceo Scientifico. I was the afternoon English conversation teacher, when the kids were tired and even more highly strung than usual. Several of the Italian professors were concerned; they knew their students quite well and told me to just call out if any student got out of hand. I instantly and self-assuredly replied: "I'll just send such a student out the room!"
They all looked at me, laughed, and then said: And all the rest will follow him/her out! One for all and all for one, the group wins out again.
A domani,
E
Roberto Ruffino, the Director of Intercultura (the Italian counterpart of AFS) for over 30 years and expert in American-Italian cross-cultural differences, once made an observation that has stuck with me. In a presentation on Italian culture for a SIETAR conference, he noted that while many people consider Italians to be individualistic in their behavior, they are actually quite conformist and group oriented. But within this cultural orientation and the control of family and tradition, they are allowed lots of room to cultivate personal expression, to be “particolare” and express individuality as long as it does not interfere with group obligations. Often Italians demonstrate very strong personalities publicly, express distinctive and even outlandish personal beliefs and allow themselves the privilege of highly idiosyncratic behavior while, oddly (to us), accepting obligations in well-defined spheres of their lives (all those "non si fa" and unwritten social rules). What we see as elaborate and extravagant ways (Vittorio Sgarbi on TV talk shows and PM Ida Boccassini’s hairstyles and jewellery come to mind) are not expressions of individualism but individuality – l’essere particolare.
In the early pages of Tobias Jones’ book, The Dark Heart of Italy, he notes, “Rather than excitingly chaotic, Italians began to appear incredibly conservative and obedient… systemized and rigidly hierarchical.”
In the chapter on The Group and the Individual of the book, Riding the Waves of Culture, Trompenaars/Hampden.Turner give this business example. “If the Americans are criticised there is a good chance that Bill will put an elbow into Pete, while asking whose rotten idea it was, while the Italians will walk out as having suffered a group insult, regardless of the fact that it was Giorgio who did it.” The group as a unit of survival above that of the individuals.
My American friend,Pat, a long-term expat in Rome, didn’t leave a comment, but sent me an email with this anecdote: “I have had many experiences with Italian groups and the group mentality, some amusing and others exasperating. One was in a Liceo Scientifico. I was the afternoon English conversation teacher, when the kids were tired and even more highly strung than usual. Several of the Italian professors were concerned; they knew their students quite well and told me to just call out if any student got out of hand. I instantly and self-assuredly replied: "I'll just send such a student out the room!"
They all looked at me, laughed, and then said: And all the rest will follow him/her out! One for all and all for one, the group wins out again.
A domani,
E
March 27, 2007
Who’s in charge here anyway?
One last set of questions for this week, then back to regular posts.
How big a role does fate play in daily life, decision making and planning ahead?
How many things in life can you control or change? Are there limits to what you can do or become?
How many things in life just have to be accepted because they cannot be controlled or changed?
Does “personal will” play a more or less important role over destiny?
Is lack of success partly a result of good/bad luck, or can you make you own luck and happiness?
Are people generally optimistic or realistic/fatalistic?
Is life what you make it or is life what happens to you?
To sum it up, do we have the power to impose control over how our lives will turn out or does that power come mainly from the outside, through external events and fate?
Italian women do not hold baby showers. Or wedding showers. Those parties we throw for our friends BEFORE the event takes place. Why not? By (arrogantly) assuming that no external event or force could intervene in the meantime, like the fiancée running off with his secretary to the Maldives or a stillborn baby, we would surely bring on the “evil eye”. I know a perfectly intelligent high level professional couple that never put their child in a baby seat or seat belt (back when this was an option), because, in any case, what will happen will happen and a seat belt could actually bring on an accident by somehow taunting fate.
Americans are on the extreme of this spectrum as well. We really believe that we can control the future, we say, “where there is a will, there is a way”, “life is what you make it”, “tomorrow is another day”, we produce the world supply of self-help books, and this empowerment is part of what makes American’s American. If we can just get it all planned out, all the possible pitfalls worked out, be really, really optimistic and believe in the power of ourselves, we can do anything.
Wow. This is a cultural imperative and it is hard for us to see that this is not the way things are for most of the world that flows along and drops off at some point of the spectrum. Somewhere at the other end, there is a Southern Arabian proverb that says, “Caution does not avert the decree of fate”.
A domani,
E
How big a role does fate play in daily life, decision making and planning ahead?
How many things in life can you control or change? Are there limits to what you can do or become?
How many things in life just have to be accepted because they cannot be controlled or changed?
Does “personal will” play a more or less important role over destiny?
Is lack of success partly a result of good/bad luck, or can you make you own luck and happiness?
Are people generally optimistic or realistic/fatalistic?
Is life what you make it or is life what happens to you?
To sum it up, do we have the power to impose control over how our lives will turn out or does that power come mainly from the outside, through external events and fate?
Italian women do not hold baby showers. Or wedding showers. Those parties we throw for our friends BEFORE the event takes place. Why not? By (arrogantly) assuming that no external event or force could intervene in the meantime, like the fiancée running off with his secretary to the Maldives or a stillborn baby, we would surely bring on the “evil eye”. I know a perfectly intelligent high level professional couple that never put their child in a baby seat or seat belt (back when this was an option), because, in any case, what will happen will happen and a seat belt could actually bring on an accident by somehow taunting fate.
Americans are on the extreme of this spectrum as well. We really believe that we can control the future, we say, “where there is a will, there is a way”, “life is what you make it”, “tomorrow is another day”, we produce the world supply of self-help books, and this empowerment is part of what makes American’s American. If we can just get it all planned out, all the possible pitfalls worked out, be really, really optimistic and believe in the power of ourselves, we can do anything.
Wow. This is a cultural imperative and it is hard for us to see that this is not the way things are for most of the world that flows along and drops off at some point of the spectrum. Somewhere at the other end, there is a Southern Arabian proverb that says, “Caution does not avert the decree of fate”.
A domani,
E
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