I am preparing a "CQ" (Cultural Quotient) column for the next issue of The Roman Forum magazine and I clicked on their website only to find an old travel article of mine on the front page!
So, if you live in Rome and are looking for a great day trip, CLICK HERE for an article on the town of Palestrina (and its goddess of fortune).
a domani,
E
October 18, 2009
October 15, 2009
Cultural Awareness in the Workplace
A photo from yesterday's presentation at the US embassy in Rome -- Survive to Thrive: Cultural Awareness in the Workplace. It was a mixed group of new arrivals, spouses, diplomats and embassy staff (even a few Italians) and everyone was quite engaged and surprised at how much they got out of the hour.
So, I am figuring out how to make and upload a recording so that I can share the text with all of you too. Anyone want to help me crack the podcast nut?
a domani,
E
October 8, 2009
Conditionally absolute
Berlusconi's lawyer is in the news for an interesting argument he slipped into his client's defense: "The law is equal for all, but not always its application."
The idea of rules and their particular application regularly comes up in cross-cultural communications. On one end of the spectrum lies "universalism" or the zero-tolerance concept of rules ( click here for a recent Time magazine article) in which there are certain absolutes that apply across the board, regardless of circumstances or the particular situation. What is right is always right and you should try to apply the same rules to everyone in like situations. To be fair is to treat everyone alike and not make exceptions for members of your "ingroup".
While life isn't necessarily fair, you can make it more fair by treating everyone the same.
Then there is the other end of the spectrum, "particularism", in which how you behave in a given situation depends on the circumstances, there are no absolutes. What is right in one situation may not be right in another. You treat your ingroup members the best you can and you let the rest of the world take care of itself (their ingroups will take care of them).
To be fair is to treat everyone as unique. No one expects life to be fair.
To each his own cultural orientation.
a domani,
E
PS. I used the descriptions of universalism and particularism from the book:Figuring Foreigners Out: A Practical Guide by Craig Storti.
The idea of rules and their particular application regularly comes up in cross-cultural communications. On one end of the spectrum lies "universalism" or the zero-tolerance concept of rules ( click here for a recent Time magazine article) in which there are certain absolutes that apply across the board, regardless of circumstances or the particular situation. What is right is always right and you should try to apply the same rules to everyone in like situations. To be fair is to treat everyone alike and not make exceptions for members of your "ingroup".
While life isn't necessarily fair, you can make it more fair by treating everyone the same.
Then there is the other end of the spectrum, "particularism", in which how you behave in a given situation depends on the circumstances, there are no absolutes. What is right in one situation may not be right in another. You treat your ingroup members the best you can and you let the rest of the world take care of itself (their ingroups will take care of them).
To be fair is to treat everyone as unique. No one expects life to be fair.
To each his own cultural orientation.
a domani,
E
PS. I used the descriptions of universalism and particularism from the book:Figuring Foreigners Out: A Practical Guide by Craig Storti.
October 7, 2009
More or less
Sorry I've been gone so long. Just got a bit too unplugged this summer. But I'm officially back with a good story and a question.
Last Friday my husband and I participated in a special anniversary event organized by the Italian Ferrovie dello Stato (national train company) to celebrate the 170 years of its first train from Naples to Portici. The participants met at the Rome termini, took the new superfast train to Naples followed by a short ride to the Pietrarsa train museum for a guided tour and dinner before returning to Rome.
The museum was fantastic, a little jewel overlooking the bay of Naples -- complete with a working steam-engine train! The dinner for 600 was catered in the one of the old padiglioni (warehouse spaces) among over 40 historic trains -- a sit-down affair with three glass and three fork settings around white-clothed tables of 12. The mandatory speeches by the autorità came before, lots of traditional music and dancing during and fireworks with a brindisi finished off the evening.
The organizer (and friend of my husband) was duly frazzled as she made sure that the various authorities and VIPS were properly seated at the first eight tables. She confided that about 100 confirmed people had not shown up and another 100 had come with same day confirmations (many of whom needed to be seated with their VIP peers). She simply shrugged, "At least the numbers balance out for the caterers" and after discretely and efficiently shifting places around, everyone had a proper seat. In the shuffle and in true Zelig style, we ended up filling out one of the reserved tables (but that is another story).
A memory bell went off from my event organizing days in Rome. Somehow back then I always magically hit my numbers for restaurants or caterers, but NEVER with the same people who had originally confirmed. 10-15% didn't show and another 10-15% just showed up. When I finally figured this out, I let go of all the worry and learned to count on the universe to take care of the final numbers.
and it always worked!
So why is it that the American organizations here in Rome keep driving themselves nuts by insisting on non-refundable reservations. How many times would I have just shown up at an event at the last minute to magically take the place of a last minute no-show. Things happen and then you are suddenly free to attend, or suddenly not.
How simple it all could be if we could reach an Italian comfort level with just letting things happen as they will.
a presto (I promise)
E
Last Friday my husband and I participated in a special anniversary event organized by the Italian Ferrovie dello Stato (national train company) to celebrate the 170 years of its first train from Naples to Portici. The participants met at the Rome termini, took the new superfast train to Naples followed by a short ride to the Pietrarsa train museum for a guided tour and dinner before returning to Rome.
The museum was fantastic, a little jewel overlooking the bay of Naples -- complete with a working steam-engine train! The dinner for 600 was catered in the one of the old padiglioni (warehouse spaces) among over 40 historic trains -- a sit-down affair with three glass and three fork settings around white-clothed tables of 12. The mandatory speeches by the autorità came before, lots of traditional music and dancing during and fireworks with a brindisi finished off the evening.
The organizer (and friend of my husband) was duly frazzled as she made sure that the various authorities and VIPS were properly seated at the first eight tables. She confided that about 100 confirmed people had not shown up and another 100 had come with same day confirmations (many of whom needed to be seated with their VIP peers). She simply shrugged, "At least the numbers balance out for the caterers" and after discretely and efficiently shifting places around, everyone had a proper seat. In the shuffle and in true Zelig style, we ended up filling out one of the reserved tables (but that is another story).
A memory bell went off from my event organizing days in Rome. Somehow back then I always magically hit my numbers for restaurants or caterers, but NEVER with the same people who had originally confirmed. 10-15% didn't show and another 10-15% just showed up. When I finally figured this out, I let go of all the worry and learned to count on the universe to take care of the final numbers.
and it always worked!
So why is it that the American organizations here in Rome keep driving themselves nuts by insisting on non-refundable reservations. How many times would I have just shown up at an event at the last minute to magically take the place of a last minute no-show. Things happen and then you are suddenly free to attend, or suddenly not.
How simple it all could be if we could reach an Italian comfort level with just letting things happen as they will.
a presto (I promise)
E
July 30, 2009
Intelligent people
I've had guests -- all four sisters together in Rome for the first time! I'm the oldest, but it was the third who instigated the trip. Although she suffered brain damage at birth, she continues to grow and develop and regularly surprise us all. At her annual assesment meeting she put forward her next goal -- to visit me in Italy with her sisters. So we made it happen.
Ok, she is missing some cognitive intelligence, but she sure made up for it in social and cultural intelligence -- enough to turn our heads and exchange smiles of amusement and admiration over and over again.
She gleaned social clues from the environment and interacted with others with fearless sincerity that led to amazing results. She learned key words (grazie, ciao and "il conto") and used them appropriately. She watched and mirrored greetings by always shaking hands and saying "ciao" (also during the taking leaving process). She bought items at a street market in Sabaudia without understanding a word but reading accurately the sign language of business. Shopkeepers and waiters responded to her presence with respectful service ("...forse la signora preferisce questo piatto...").
She was flexible with the new time schedule, open to new food and meal habits, willing to try anything, mindful of body language and not even disoriented by the strange language around her, and the strange toilets (no two alike).
So, we all have our strengths, some in the cognitive sphere, others in the emotional and social arena and some have a knack for crossing cultures with aplomb.
a domani,
Elizabeth
Ok, she is missing some cognitive intelligence, but she sure made up for it in social and cultural intelligence -- enough to turn our heads and exchange smiles of amusement and admiration over and over again.
She gleaned social clues from the environment and interacted with others with fearless sincerity that led to amazing results. She learned key words (grazie, ciao and "il conto") and used them appropriately. She watched and mirrored greetings by always shaking hands and saying "ciao" (also during the taking leaving process). She bought items at a street market in Sabaudia without understanding a word but reading accurately the sign language of business. Shopkeepers and waiters responded to her presence with respectful service ("...forse la signora preferisce questo piatto...").
She was flexible with the new time schedule, open to new food and meal habits, willing to try anything, mindful of body language and not even disoriented by the strange language around her, and the strange toilets (no two alike).
So, we all have our strengths, some in the cognitive sphere, others in the emotional and social arena and some have a knack for crossing cultures with aplomb.
a domani,
Elizabeth
June 25, 2009
Our brain, our culture
I googled (is this an official verb yet?) "self-directed neuroplasticity" today and ended up downloading a fascinating, enjoyable and easy to digest podcast interview on an Australian national radio podcast with a couple of leaders in the field: Jeff Schwartz and Norman Doidge.
Somewhere in the second half of the interview Norman Doidge talks about the applications of neuro-plasticity to the experience of changing into a new culture. While in the past, we tended to believe that our brain produced our culture (think of Geerte Hofstede's landmark book "Software of the Mind"-- a basic read for any course on intercultural communications), the new (non-mechanistic) paradigm allows for our culture to also reshape our brains (including our language, see my previous post below) in such a way that our perceptual systems are actually wired differently during our developmental years.
In this way, culture shock is really brain shock!
Anyway, if you are curious to understand more about how you work and how change works, download this into your ipod.
CLICK HERE
Over and over both scientists confirmed one of the basic premise of coaching methodology (although neither made any specific reference to coaching). By focusing our attention differently, we can actually change how our brain works, which in time can change how we see and interact with the world. The new framework is that our mind is not our brain (something those who practice meditation have known for centuries).
So we enact change in ourselves by increasing self-awareness around what we think (our mind), focusing our attention and then working with this attention over a sustained period of time -- and that is what coaching is about.
All very cool stuff.
a domani,
E
Somewhere in the second half of the interview Norman Doidge talks about the applications of neuro-plasticity to the experience of changing into a new culture. While in the past, we tended to believe that our brain produced our culture (think of Geerte Hofstede's landmark book "Software of the Mind"-- a basic read for any course on intercultural communications), the new (non-mechanistic) paradigm allows for our culture to also reshape our brains (including our language, see my previous post below) in such a way that our perceptual systems are actually wired differently during our developmental years.
In this way, culture shock is really brain shock!
Anyway, if you are curious to understand more about how you work and how change works, download this into your ipod.
CLICK HERE
Over and over both scientists confirmed one of the basic premise of coaching methodology (although neither made any specific reference to coaching). By focusing our attention differently, we can actually change how our brain works, which in time can change how we see and interact with the world. The new framework is that our mind is not our brain (something those who practice meditation have known for centuries).
So we enact change in ourselves by increasing self-awareness around what we think (our mind), focusing our attention and then working with this attention over a sustained period of time -- and that is what coaching is about.
All very cool stuff.
a domani,
E
June 18, 2009
Could you repeat please?
A friend sent me a link to a scientific article on how people who speak different languages actually do think differently. Makes perfect sense to me and to anyone who has lived an extended period of time in another country and language.
It seems that the language you learn as a child trains you to pay more attention a particular set of things in the world so that you have the correct information to include in what you say.
We Americans, for example never learned to pay paticular attention to whether a chair is feminine or masculine -- and it shows when we occasionally slip up on the gender front, even after years and years of speaking Italian.
Russians instead do not have one word that covers all the shades that an English speaker would consider to fall under the word "blue". Instead they have two words --one for light blue (goluboy)and another for dark blue (siniy) which makes them quicker at distinguishing the two than their American counterparts.
To make her point that patterns in a language can indeed play a causal role in constructing how we think, she gives the example of a small Aboriginal community in Australia that talk about space in terms of north, south, east, west instead of left, right , forward so they might say, "Hey Joe, there is an ant on your southwest leg", or "Move the cup to the north northeast a little bit". Because space is such a fundamental domain of thought, differences in how these people think about space spill over into time, numbers, kinship relations and even emotions.
Another example was in the area of gender. In Spanish a key is feminine while in German it is masculine -- giving the object itself very different attributes in people's minds. The Spanish consider a key to be, "golden, intricate, little, lovely, shiny and tiny", whereas the Germans used adjectives such as, "hard, heavy, jagged, metal, serrated and useful" to describe the same item. Curious indeed!
Click HERE for the link if you would like to know more.
Perhaps Italians are so good at dealing with ambiguity because their language allows for endless sentences that never clearly nominate subjects and objects. "Who exactly is responsible for what" is the translator's daily struggle. The answer, as we have seen, is in the context, or as an Italian language teacher once told me, "musicality gives meaning."
Thanks Gillian for passing this along!
a domani,
E
It seems that the language you learn as a child trains you to pay more attention a particular set of things in the world so that you have the correct information to include in what you say.
We Americans, for example never learned to pay paticular attention to whether a chair is feminine or masculine -- and it shows when we occasionally slip up on the gender front, even after years and years of speaking Italian.
Russians instead do not have one word that covers all the shades that an English speaker would consider to fall under the word "blue". Instead they have two words --one for light blue (goluboy)and another for dark blue (siniy) which makes them quicker at distinguishing the two than their American counterparts.
To make her point that patterns in a language can indeed play a causal role in constructing how we think, she gives the example of a small Aboriginal community in Australia that talk about space in terms of north, south, east, west instead of left, right , forward so they might say, "Hey Joe, there is an ant on your southwest leg", or "Move the cup to the north northeast a little bit". Because space is such a fundamental domain of thought, differences in how these people think about space spill over into time, numbers, kinship relations and even emotions.
Another example was in the area of gender. In Spanish a key is feminine while in German it is masculine -- giving the object itself very different attributes in people's minds. The Spanish consider a key to be, "golden, intricate, little, lovely, shiny and tiny", whereas the Germans used adjectives such as, "hard, heavy, jagged, metal, serrated and useful" to describe the same item. Curious indeed!
Click HERE for the link if you would like to know more.
Perhaps Italians are so good at dealing with ambiguity because their language allows for endless sentences that never clearly nominate subjects and objects. "Who exactly is responsible for what" is the translator's daily struggle. The answer, as we have seen, is in the context, or as an Italian language teacher once told me, "musicality gives meaning."
Thanks Gillian for passing this along!
a domani,
E
May 30, 2009
Change is hard
I have been reading some theoretical work that links the brain (the physical organ) with the mind (the human consciousness that thinks, feels, acts and perceives) -- the very exciting work being done in neuroscience that tells us how people learn and change.
The reason we all resist change, even when we KNOW that the change is in our best interests, is that our brains work that way.
Our working memory -- the place where our perceptions and ideas can be compared to other information -- takes a lot of energy to do its task. When we meet something new (like we do when we need to adapt or change), this is where the information should go to be elaborated but sometimes there is just too much stuff already taking up its small space.
So instead of comparing, contasting the new thing with a repetoire of other information in our system and elaborate how to put it into action, we push it down into the basal ganglia area where there is more room and less energy required to run things. The problem is that this area of the brain is wired for routine, familiar activities that you can do without much conscious thought and the new thing gets put aside for our tried and true usual way of operating.
Another reason change is hard is that our brains are wired to read any difference between what is expected and what is actually happening to be an "error". These "errors" (anything new) produce intense bursts of neural firing that sets off our fear circuitry. In this way, any time we try to change a routine behavior, our brain sends out a strong message that "something is not right" and we feel discomfort that stems from fear. In this state, we do not do our best higher thinking but rather tend to react more emotionally and impulsively.
So, what can we do to make change happen?
Focusing attention on the improved result over a sustained period of time. Our working memory can only deal with small bites of learning, digesting it over time and by focusing attention, over and over new neuron circuity can be stabilized and developed.
The fancy word is: "self-directed neuroplasticity".
Apparently, the brain wants us to: focus on solutions, come up with our own answers and keep focused on our insights until new circuits are formed.
Sounds like coaching to me!
a domani,
E
The reason we all resist change, even when we KNOW that the change is in our best interests, is that our brains work that way.
Our working memory -- the place where our perceptions and ideas can be compared to other information -- takes a lot of energy to do its task. When we meet something new (like we do when we need to adapt or change), this is where the information should go to be elaborated but sometimes there is just too much stuff already taking up its small space.
So instead of comparing, contasting the new thing with a repetoire of other information in our system and elaborate how to put it into action, we push it down into the basal ganglia area where there is more room and less energy required to run things. The problem is that this area of the brain is wired for routine, familiar activities that you can do without much conscious thought and the new thing gets put aside for our tried and true usual way of operating.
Another reason change is hard is that our brains are wired to read any difference between what is expected and what is actually happening to be an "error". These "errors" (anything new) produce intense bursts of neural firing that sets off our fear circuitry. In this way, any time we try to change a routine behavior, our brain sends out a strong message that "something is not right" and we feel discomfort that stems from fear. In this state, we do not do our best higher thinking but rather tend to react more emotionally and impulsively.
So, what can we do to make change happen?
Focusing attention on the improved result over a sustained period of time. Our working memory can only deal with small bites of learning, digesting it over time and by focusing attention, over and over new neuron circuity can be stabilized and developed.
The fancy word is: "self-directed neuroplasticity".
Apparently, the brain wants us to: focus on solutions, come up with our own answers and keep focused on our insights until new circuits are formed.
Sounds like coaching to me!
a domani,
E
March 19, 2009
The magic of comunication
I would like to share with you a lovely poem I have just received from a client. It speaks of empathy and deep listening that form a magical space of true communication.
We sit across from one another
and speak of trivial matters;
of the weather, of your heartbreak
of your new cobalt scarf.
I touch the threads of that scarf
to get closer to you.
Now, no one speaks
and there’s room for the truth
In the quiet, while I hold on to that thread,
our masks slip away
and the gods and goddesses can finally enter.
Three of them:
sit filling the empty spaces between us
and take their tea.
In this circle of gold the lines between us blur
and we speak of mystical matters;
of the weather, of your heartbreak
of your new cobalt scarf.
a domani,
E
We sit across from one another
and speak of trivial matters;
of the weather, of your heartbreak
of your new cobalt scarf.
I touch the threads of that scarf
to get closer to you.
Now, no one speaks
and there’s room for the truth
In the quiet, while I hold on to that thread,
our masks slip away
and the gods and goddesses can finally enter.
Three of them:
sit filling the empty spaces between us
and take their tea.
In this circle of gold the lines between us blur
and we speak of mystical matters;
of the weather, of your heartbreak
of your new cobalt scarf.
a domani,
E
March 16, 2009
Make it light
Many people hate the idea of promoting themselves. It smells of "sales" and we all hate those sales people that knock on our door or call us on the phone.
Yet we have to promote ourselves at some time -- even if we have a job, we might be aiming for a promotion.
I have done a reframe exercise for myself. When I knock on the doors of organizations, 'll just ask, "what one small thing could I do that would have the biggest impact for you?"
Its the 20/80 principle -- 20% of what you do creates 80% of the result. It just takes identifying the 20%.
I'll bet they may have some good ideas.
a domani,
E
Yet we have to promote ourselves at some time -- even if we have a job, we might be aiming for a promotion.
I have done a reframe exercise for myself. When I knock on the doors of organizations, 'll just ask, "what one small thing could I do that would have the biggest impact for you?"
Its the 20/80 principle -- 20% of what you do creates 80% of the result. It just takes identifying the 20%.
I'll bet they may have some good ideas.
a domani,
E
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